This Week in Strategy: If a cow doesn't produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure?
And how about this one....What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef!
Hi Strat Pack,
As you may be aware, last weekend was July 4th. I hope you enjoyed not being bombarded by an email from me for once. But did you know that today, July 10th, is Bahamian Independence Day? It's the 47th anniversary of independence from Great Britain who initially took possession of the islands in 1718 to clamp down on piracy.
But the point is, I missed you guys. Anyway, let's talk about me for a second. I am happy to announce that Taking selfies doesn’t mean you’re a narcissist, study suggests. Phew! But watch out...Narcissism did, however, appear to influence the type of selfie being taken. Participants high in narcissism were more likely to take selfies that featured only themselves.
Here's something that weirdly keyed me up: Comic Sans is the second-most trusted font after Times New Roman. And I was about to get all up in arms, because IMO it is an empirically terrible font. But here's something I did not know: it is the most legible for people with ADHD, dyslexia, or literacy issues. Wow ok maybe we'll stop taking the piss out of it. But still...second most trusted? What about HELVETICA?!?!
Alright, stop messing around trying to figure out how narcissistic my preferred choice in fonts makes me. Let's jump right in.
The one thing to read this week
1) When Advertising Tried Bullshit. [Ad Aged - George Tannenbaum]
Just about every day in what used to be the advertising business, you hear someone—usually someone with a seven or eight digit salary—blather on about what advertising today is supposed to do for companies.
About 99 times out of one-hundred, it has absolutely nothing to do with advertising. Usually, there’s some convolution about insights, or data-driven insights, or customer touchpoints, or digital transformation.
Let me tell you something. I’m considered a pretty brainy guy, just ask anyone. Especially if they’re drunk. But I don’t know what any of the words and phrases above mean. I couldn’t for the life of me list four bona-fide insights I have heard in my life ('moms are busy' is not an insight. It’s an observation. And not intelligent, differentiating or insightful.) I really don’t know what a data-driven insight is. I know what a customer touchpoint is, but no one’s asked me, a customer, if I want to be touched and if I do, when and where and I have no idea what digital transformation means at all.
Speaking of digital transformation—I lied. I understand that the toll booths I used to wait at to either hand money to a surly toll booth collector, or toss a quarter into a basket have now all been replaced by near radio frequency readers and transmitters on our cars. That I understand. And I understand how it improves my life. I don’t understand it as it pertains to anything else.
But more than that, if what advertising has traditionally done is no longer important, my question is, who’s decided that? I am buying a second home and on the cusp of buying about a thousand consumer products to fill it with. I can find no information about anything I want to buy.
What monopoly ISP provides the safest, fastest, most reliable, least odious internet service? What are the advantages of a solar roof and how long will one take to install? Which expensive designer oven is the right height for spousal suffocation?
If the primary utility of brands is to bring order and definition to a chaotic universe, we are suffering, as a society, from a dearth of intelligence and an even greater dearth of persuasion. No one anymore provides you with useful consumer information about anything. In fact, advertising today is some steroidal permutation on Willy Loman hoping to get by with a smile and a handshake. Advertising no longer clarifies and defines. It exaggerates and exclaims. With three exclamation points.
It’s worse. Digital transformation: I fail to see how it will have a positive impact on my life.
That’s just plain bullshit.
In a world where no company picks up the phone and fixes your problems, we don’t need transformation, we need good old fashioned service. In fact, good old fashioned service would do more to transform 99.99% of all companies—especially ad agencies—than all the legerdemain of a platoon of Merlins backed by a phalanx of Kreskins. You want digital transformation? Have a trained human pick up your phone. Give them two-cents every time they say please and thank you, and have them work to resolve customer issues rather than get you off the phone quickly for “efficiency’s” and dissatisfaction’s sake.
[George] was kicked out of an agency less than six months ago—the same agency that’s allegedly working to help clients digitally transform. Their slipshod, callous and impecunious treatment of employees with decades of experience leads me to conclude they couldn’t transform a week old newspaper into fish-wrapping if you gave them instructions and a flounder.
In those less than six months, I’ve gained five retained pieces of business because I help businesses figure out what they sell and then sell it.
I don't write decks or power-points or business plans. I don't attend conferences or sit on panels, prevaricate or pompous-tulate. I write ads. Funny. Smart. Sweet. And short. And long.
They often rally a business. Help them see themselves. And inspire people to act.
I do my work on time and on budget and I always over-deliver. I return calls. And meet deadlines. I’m polite but never obsequious and I refuse to operate on the razor-thin margins holding company agencies have accepted because revenue is more important than profit. That is, to shareholders who want to see steady revenue growth even when it costs agencies eleven cents of effort to make a dime revenue.
This business is pretty simple if you let it be simple.
There are only a couple brands people actually love. They don’t have much in common. Except this axiom: The brands we like act like people we like. They’re warm, friendly, intelligent, useful, occasionally funny and reliable.
Not a single one wants to digitally transform me.
2) Bye 72, Bye Advertising. [Bassam Abdel-Rahman - Medium]
Some parting words + 7 lessons for agency leaders committed to anti-racism [ED Note: Click through to the article to read the parting words]
7 Lessons:
WHEN (not if) you promote the next Black team member into leadership please do not pitch them a press release idea like “first black muslim leader” or “first black trans leader” or “first black anything…”. As well-intentioned as you may think you’re being toward us and the business, when you promote us you must empower us to own our own narrative. Celebrate our merits, not JUST our backgrounds.
BACK UP a Black team member when they muster the courage to correct clients when they give insensitive feedback like: “this guy sounds like an angry black man” or “we should cast darker skin for this role because they are in the sun all day”. Please don’t make us have to do that alone. In fact, speak up and do it yourself. That is what true allyship in an anti-racist movement looks like.
IF a Black colleague tells you that the line or idea is tone deaf and making them uncomfortable, don’t let your ego get in the way of your empathy. It’s not easy for us to be that “annoying” voice in the room, especially when we are often the only ones. Please lean into those who speak up, instead of rolling your eyes.
IF a Black creative team tells your CDs that a scene featuring a cop pointing a speed-gun at a fast black kid running is a bad idea, please ask your CDs to stop, listen and think. Now that we all know better, don’t put young black staff in the position of having to debate something so painful with their superiors for days before they finally agree.
IF you send an email rallying the troops to say that help is on the way, please think before you add links to historical battles like (for example) the one in ‘Zulu’, where white men with guns massacred Africans with spears defending their land. What might seem like an innocent cultural reference to you can be a painful reminder of oppression and subjugation to us.
IF one of the black leaders sends you a passionate email explaining why opening a talk to a group of young black creatives with a quote from someone like Churchill might be insensitive (due to Churchill’s very public racist and supremacist views), please at least respond acknowledging that you heard them, whether you agree with them or not. If called out, move beyond your paralysis and engage in learning.
IF a pitch or project asks for a diverse team, please do not ask your only black leadership team member to fly over for it unless you actually want him/her to lead it. It will make us feel used, and it makes us complicit in the problem. We are more than props.
IF you do not have a diverse team please do not go for those projects that request a diverse team. Instead focus your energy on resolving the diversity issue first.
The path ahead is not gonna be easy, but please don’t let that deter you. Lead the way, and hopefully other leaders can learn from you.
Love,
Bassam
3) What's The ROI of Brand Safety? [Dr. Augustine Fou - LinkedIn]
This guy's LinkedIn subhead is "whatcha gonna do, when I come for you?" and I'm obsessed.
Which is more embarrassing for you as a marketer?
1) being shown a screen shot of your digital ads running on a porn site, hate site, child abuse site, piracy site, disinformation site, or fake news site?
Or
2) getting called into the CEO’s office, with the CFO present, and shown documentation that you’ve systematically funded porn sites, hate sites, child abuse sites, piracy sites, disinformation sites, and fake news sites for years with your digital ad dollars?
You’re certainly getting fired for one of the above and you’re certainly losing your digital ad budget too. Do you want to wait until either of the above happens, or do you want to take a closer look now, before these happen? Think “Check My Ads”
Brand Safety and Brand Suitability Are Both B.S.
No, I don’t mean the acronym - BS. I mean the way industry trade associations are talking about it and ad tech vendors are selling you solutions for it. If you buy media through programmatic ad tech and have your ads sprayed out across hundreds of thousands of sites, do you think brand safety technology can detect your way out of trouble? Consider the fact that real terrorists are going to use the word “bread” instead of the word “bomb” in their communications, so the tech won’t actually catch the real terrorists. Consider the fact that parties intent on spreading disinformation can type the text inside a picture and get by all text scanners -- think memes.
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/brand-safety-gone-mad-bad-just-plain-wrong-ad-fraud-historian/
And consider the fact that despite press releases and sales materials that drop every acronym like AI, ML, semantic engine, etc. the BS tech is still no better than a blunt instrument looking for keywords on the page. (Note the recent oopsies where these tech platforms defunded real news sites, because they covered the news on the coronavirus and “Black Lives Matter.”) And they failed to catch and prevent ads from going to the actual bad sites. And YOU paid for the BS tech.
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/craigsilverman/fake-local-news-sites-albany-edmonton
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/craigsilverman/these-fake-local-news-sites-have-confused-people-for-years
Go right ahead if you want to continue deluding yourself and paying for BS tech. I won’t rag on the swag either... because it does say BS on it. But I’m sure you will hang the plaque on the wall and wear the scarf out to social gatherings.
Real Marketers Don't Pay for BSReal marketers check their ads instead. They spend their digital ad dollars wisely to drive real business outcomes. They keep their ad dollars away from porn sites, hate sites, child abuse sites, piracy sites, disinformation sites, and fake news sites. Having the right data to look at (e.g. detailed placement reports) and taking the appropriate action -- turning those domains off -- will not only stop the funding of bad faith sites it will also ensure the ad dollars go to real publishers' sites and ads are shown to real humans.
Case example: After checking his ads, Andrew’s ad spend dropped from $1,200 per day to $50 per day without any change in performance, after he blocked bad faith publishers, random Android apps, and websites outside of the country. Source: https://branded.substack.com/p/under-the-hood-of-a-criteo-ad-campaign)
So what's the ROI of brand safety?
What's the ROI of paying for BS tech when the tech is actually BS. It's negative. What's the ROI of not stopping your ads from systematically funding bad sites? It's negative infinity. Most importantly, what's the ROI of you keeping your job? That should be really easy to calculate. It's positive infinity.
4) Quick Hits: A few articles that are concise, important, interesting, impactful, and I'm not going to write long descriptions for them
This one image shows how wearing a mask has become political [FastCompany] The idea that wearing a face mask during the COVID-19 pandemic is something to be mocked or derided has become a symbol of how divided America is. I'm sure you've seen this image already but I really like this write up. And as people who work in a heavily visual medium, I think it really helps frame up how important symbolism is.
Thread by @tobydoyhowell [Twitter] Toby's been running @morningbrew's social media for the past ~2 months. here's a thread of a few things he's learned. Twitter strategy only for now. Friends of the newsletter know I'm normally not big on organic twitter at all. But I enjoyed reading this and for all brands no matter how big, a clear social voice is super important. And not so complicated that it requires 30 people at an agency 6 months to come up with.
5) Department of Great Work
In Self-Portraits, 27 Black Photographers Reflect Themselves and America [New York Times] Self-portraits by photographers can reveal not only who they are but also the world they are seeing. In a special project by the Culture desk that appears online today, 27 black photographers offer images that give readers a view of America through the way these artists are framing themselves in this moment.
Pink Panther gets a Pantone Pink Makeover [The Pop Insider] Metro Goldwyn Mayer (MGM) and Pantone have collaborated to create a new, Pink Panther-inspired shade of pink. Simply called “Pink Panther Pink,” the new hue features undertones of blue and yellow that are intended to capture — according to Pantone Color Institute Vice President Laurie Pressman — “Pink Panther’s irreverent charm and suave sophistication, conveying the signature ultra-cool style of this lovable prankster.”
How does ‘Hamilton,’ the non stop, hip-hop Broadway sensation tap rap's master rhymes to blur musical lines? [Wall Street Journal] This is cool on two levels: a very cool visual data visualization with some interesting algorithmic work from the WSJ folks. But also a super interesting look at the hip-hop influences in the musical (now streaming on Disney+...)
As Museums Get on TikTok, the Uffizi Is an Unlikely Class Clown [New York Times] Last month, the Uffizi Gallery in Florence — long a bastion of tradition — posted a video to its TikTok account featuring Botticelli’s “Spring.” The painting depicts Venus and other mythological figures, and has been gawked at by tourists and studied by academics for centuries. On TikTok, users were treated to a new perspective on this masterpiece of the Italian Renaissance: Set to Todrick Hall’s expletive-filled club track “Nails, Hair, Hips, Heels,” each time a body part is mentioned — “thin waist, thick thighs” — the video jumps to a corresponding part of the painting. “Purse full, big bills,” Hall sings, and the TikTok zooms in on the flowers held by Flora, the goddess of spring. “Maybe it looks a little stupid,” said Ilde Forgione, 35, who runs the account, in a telephone interview, “but sometimes you have to give people a different point of view, something that says, ‘Art is not boring. Art is not something you just learn at school. It’s something you can discover for yourself.’”
Taiwan is using humor as a tool against coronavirus hoaxes [Quartz] Taiwan, which is lauded for its success in containing the spread of coronavirus, has adopted humor as a tool in fighting the pandemic. Speaking at the TED conference this week, Taiwan’s digital minister Audrey Tang explained how a tactic called “humor over rumor” has effectively quashed misinformation about Covid-19. Every time a hoax surfaces on social media, Tang and her band of civic hackers unleash a joke containing the facts of the matter within two hours of spotting the post, based on the idea that since people like to share funny memes on social media, doing so allows the government to wrest control of the narrative. Tang also said that government agencies have employed professional comedians as “engagement officers” to help in the cause. If they miss the two-hour window, Tang’s team locates the perpetrators and recruits them as allies in Taiwan’s coronavirus effort.
Department of Bad Work
Walmart Lands in Hot Water After Selling "All Lives Matter" T-Shirt [Hypebeast] Walmart Canada is now catching flak for selling what the public is calling a racist T-shirt. The shirt in question is a military green “ALL LIVES MATTER” tee by Old Glory Design. Just weeks after announcing a $100M USD commitment towards racial equity. Smooth.
Platform Updates are on hiatus this week but here's what you need to know
Many social media companies (including TikTok) have stopped processing user information requests in Hong Kong over concerns about the new Beijing backed security law that got passed
TikTok might get banned in the US
Facebook rolled out Reels - a TikTok rip off in India after it (along with 60 other Chinese-made apps) got banned probably due to that border skirmish a few weeks ago
Amazon told their employees to delete TikTok on any phone that accesses Amazon email by, well, today, or else the device will violate their security policy.
Twitter soldiers on.
As always, the full archive is available here. Was this email forwarded to you? Want to start getting this on a weekly basis? All I need is your email, everything else is optional. Thanks for sticking around as always. See you next week!